When the unexpected happens…

Hello Everyone!

I pray all of you are safe and well.  All week I pondered what I’d be posting today.  I had one of the most productive weeks I’ve had in a long time!  I heard someone say that where you find a pattern in one area of life, it is very likely you’ll find that same pattern repeating in other areas of your life.  I deeply meditated on this statement and found it to be true.  I am a great planner and organizer.  Everything will get done on time, but sometimes I tend to procrastinate to get there.  I had to ask myself why it is that I do this?  I couldn’t come up with a good answer.  The truth was, that thing I would procrastinate was going to bring conflict or would require hard work.  Simply put, I don’t always welcome the challenge.  I’ll do it, but I have to work myself up to get there.

I decided this behavior had to be confronted and come to an end.  I had procrastinated in my personal devotional time with God for as long as I can remember.  I have been inconsistent all my life.  For no good reason other than putting other things and activities before my time with God.  I’ve changed that pattern.  I now turn off the tv and dive into the word at a set time.

The next thing I was challenged with was completing projects I set forth to do.  I specifically am working on a project at work I knew I would really need to dig deep on.  Opposed to waiting for someone else to do something, I knew God had given me the ability to lead the project to completion and manage the team.  Last week was by far my most constructive week.  I had even gotten a pretty big compliment from the leadership team.

Things were going great!  I’m thinking I’m doing great work and am valuable to the company I joined 3 months ago.  Then it happened.  First thing Friday morning, I received a call.  The company is challenged financially and my role would need to be cut literally at the end of the day.  However, I was told I have done great work on the project and they’d like for me to stay on a part-time basis until the project roll-out and follow up maintenance have been completed over the next 6 weeks. What?!?!?

I cannot say I was totally shocked as I’m new, I’m a temporary employee, there were other long term regular employees impacted and the company’s revenue has been down over last year due to covid-19.  Still though, it was a lot to process coming off of such a great week and high praise from my leadership.

What now Lord?  I had been praying for direction on what to do next for work, I knew I didn’t want to do temp work forever, but I wanted to complete the project I had begun.  The project really started to accelerate the first two weeks of May and it sped up the length of the rollout date. Also, I listened to a sermon earlier in the week that spoke about some ways God speaks to us.  One of those ways is closed doors.  Revelation 3:7 says, “What he opens no one can shut and what he shuts no one can open”.  I must finish the project and accept that God has closed this door.

The next question for me is, do I trust him to meet my needs and open a new door?  Thinking with human reason it’s challenging.  We’re in a pandemic, multiple people are affected, and there aren’t many jobs available.  That’s my human reasoning.  However, we all know faith in God and human reasoning do not mix.  Therefore, I must do as Proverbs 3:5 says which is trust the Lord and lean not on my own understanding.  As I shared last on the last post  in the past when I could not  see the path forward, I would begin to doubt,  becoming double minded.  I believe today and tomorrow I’ not quite sure, the next day I hope again and then the day after that  my feelings have changed yet again.  James 1:6 says very clearly, “When you ask, you must believe and not doubt because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind”.  I don’t want to be this person.

The last 6 months have been quite a journey for me as you all know.  God has delivered me from some huge obstacles.  I actually received a tax refund to pay my bills in February after my 401k money ran out, I started the temp job in February when I really needed income, I put my house on the market mid-February and it sold and closed in 45 days during a pandemic and I was approved for an apartment 4 days prior to my closing date.

I’ve seen God do some pretty big things for me recently and before this.  He has not failed me yet. I have no answers.  I don’t know how, where, when, what or who, but I know God is able, so once again I look to the hills where my help comes from and keep my focus on him to guide me through this trial.  I know he will get glory yet again, but until then please keep me in your prayers.

Stay tuned…

~Felicia