Reflection

Hello all,

Today is the 31st of January in 2021.  On this day I have been reflecting on where I was last year on this very day. I remember it like it was yesterday.  I can recall having an interview with a Wells Fargo recruiter thinking that would lead to my next position. I was depending on this interview to open a door for the financial security I was looking for.  All of my other job prospects had dried up and this was the end of the road in my mind.

When I realized that this opportunity would not produce an actual job, I was devastated. I had money to pay all of my bills that were due February 1st, but I had no clue how the bills due March 1st would be paid as I quit my job three months earlier due to high stress and long hours.  My savings were running out quickly!  I literally curled up into a ball next to my bedroom window and cried like a helpless child.  I had no clue what I was going to do.  I was frustrated with God and the world as I had never been at the end of my rope before from a financial standpoint.

At that very moment, I confessed to God, “The truth is I don’t trust you. I’ve never been able to depend on anyone to help me financially.  I repent God.  I want to trust you, but I do not know how.  Please help me learn to trust you.”  Before I expound, let me say, God has always been the one to supply me with jobs that in turn provided for me. That I knew, but over time, I began trusting in the job and not God.  God needed to show me he was and had always been my source.

That very same afternoon, I got an email from a temp agency for an informational interview.  From that phone call, God began to unfold a plan of provision for 2020 that I never could have imagined.  I received income through temporary employment, my 2019 tax refund, through the sale of my house, random checks, unemployment, tuition relief and finally as a contracted employee.  I never had a need that was unmet and I did not miss one payment due date. Not one.

While I did not like the non-traditional forms of income in 2020, I learned some of the most valuable lessons of my life.  Most importantly, I learned I could trust God.  I can release the worry and fear that used to cause me to lose sleep at night.  Reflecting back on where I was and where I am now is literally a night and day difference. I am very thankful.

Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.  Lean not on your understanding.  In all your ways, trust in Him and He will direct your path.”  I am a witness to these verses as truth.  If there is anyone reading this who is struggling to trust God in an area of your life, God can help you.  First and foremost, you are responsible to repent/confess of your lack of trust in Him.  Secondly, you need to release it over to Him.  Next, allow Him to solve it for you , in His way and in His time.  It may not look how you want it to look, but He will do it for you. Lastly, wait patiently for Him to solve it. 

1. Repent 
2. Release 
3. Allow God to solve it 
4. Patiently wait

I pray that you too will experience the same freedom and blessing only God can give.  

~Felicia