What can I say God has come through yet again!!! I am so grateful and appreciative of His loving kindness towards me. I will give you an update of what God has done, but first I have a confession to make. I was reminded of it today while reflecting on the past 6 months.
Last summer, about 9 months ago I was journaling as I often do. As you all know I had a very good job, but between paying the mortgage and my son’s tuition payments, paying all the bills monthly was becoming a challenge. My anxiety was at an all time high. As I journaled I remember confessing my biggest fear which was not to have enough money to meet my financial obligations each month. Since I graduated from college almost 20 years ago, God always blessed me with a great job. The problem was I had come to rely on the job as the source that was meeting my need as a provider opposed to trusting God. In November of 2019, God allowed my greatest fear to happen and I had no choice but to trust him.
God has taught me that he indeed is my one true source for everything. I have not liked this experience at all, but going through this season of my life was the only way for God to show me He’s been my provider all along and I do not need to worry, only trust Him. I cannot tell you all what a huge breakthrough it has been for me to watch God work miraculously in my life. I now trust that God can do anything He wants to do. I’m simply in awe of him….
My last blog was the day before the coronavirus pandemic announcement in the US. If you recall, I was waiting for the buyer to get back to me after the inspection & appraisal. I hadn’t located an apartment yet, I am working a temporary job and my son was playing in the section championship game to determine the winner of the state tournament that Thursday.
I’ll start with the house. I was on pins and needles! I was nervous the buyer might pull out because the stock markets were going crazy over the pandemic announcement. BUT GOD! They confirmed they still wanted the house, they just wanted cash at closing to cover a few thousand dollars of repairs. While I wasn’t thrilled to give up that much money, I learned a lesson from the last deal that fell through and with the pandemic going on I was appreciative to have a strong offer. I agreed to their terms and was now set to close in 16 days!
Exciting right? Of course, God is good! But umm “God, I haven’t found a place to move to yet.” My income is only for this temp job and I need a qualifying income. I looked at almost every place you could find in the metro area. The experience was like no other because I had been used to getting exactly what I wanted because I always had great jobs. Sure my credit is still great, I have no criminal background, and I had the deposit/rent, but the amount of money they wanted me to make I couldn’t reach. I can’t lie, I was nervous, but I remembered that God was the one who told me to put my house on the market in February and had allowed it to sell during a pandemic. Surely he will find a place for me. However, I faced such warfare and it was frustrating. I am so sympathetic towards others now when they’re in a tight spot. I now have felt it for myself. I didn’t want to settle for some of the places that I did qualify for. I am so humbled. How do I go from a 4 bedroom house I love to a place I can’t stomach? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind renting an apartment, but I at least want to feel safe in my spot that is clean. Because of this internal struggle, I just broke down. I had nine days before I closed on my house and didn’t have a place to live. I felt like I had to settle. The struggle was real. I’m thinking, “God I know you love me and I’ll go where you want, but please help me right now. I’m struggling”.
Last Saturday morning after looking for 4 hours with my mom, I believe I found a potential place. Most places aren’t even showing right now due to the virus outbreak, but this place advised they’d show me on Sunday which was a shock! Who shows on a Sunday? My son and I went and it met all my needs. Do I love it?, “No”, but I am very content there and I feel safe. I got the application completed and calculated that I came within $20 of meeting the monthly income requirement. I was told it normally took 5-7 days to run an application, but I really needed an answer sooner than that. Again, I was on pins and needles!!!!! Monday and Tuesday I was fine, but Wednesday after our MN governor announced the “stay at home” mandate effective Friday at 11:59pm, I panicked for about an hour! Did I have to move on Friday now? I called and checked on the application but now everyone was working from home and I couldn’t get a hold of the person I needed. AHHHHHHHH!!!!! My mom and I touched and agreed in prayer a couple of hours later and I calmed down some.
Early Thursday morning I signed my closing papers to sell the house with no confirmation I had a place to go. I encouraged myself in the word Thursday morning before I started the day and just thanked God for my new place. I was completely dependent on him.
Then it happened. Thursday at 9:56am, I was sent my lease agreement to sign. You talk about shouting! God did it, just like he said he would! Whew! I am a planner by nature so this was a HUGE challenge for me, but God showed me he was trustworthy.
Now if it had been up to me, I would have given me a permanent job, waited a few months, sell my house and find then a new place, but obviously because of the state of the world it couldn’t happen that way and with every trial I’ve faced, there is no way I could have handled the stress of a new, permanent job. That’s why God says in Isaiah 55:8, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways”. He is so much wiser than me. Selling the house and finding a new spot was enough, plus supporting my son during his senior year.
Speaking of which, my son’s team won the game to go to state, but it was obviously canceled because of the pandemic. However, he allowed my son to hit the game winning shot at the buzzer!! The moment was huge and I was so happy for him and so appreciative God would give him the opportunity to end his high school career on that note. Very blessed.
Now we move and I shift the focus on helping my son navigate the college selection process and focusing on finding a permanent job over the next 90 days during such a time when unemployment has skyrocketed and most other kids know where they’re going to school in the fall. But God! After what I’ve witnessed God do the last few months, I know He can and will move mountains for me. again My faith in him is at an all time high! Even through this pandemic I do not fear. I will make wise decisions and be responsible during this time, but I do not fear.
So I say to all of you, stay safe and know that God is able to do amazing things IF you decide trust in him.
~Felicia
Psalm 23:4, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me.”
Happiness in the Truth 
WOW!🙌🏽
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